Fix That Injury With No Painkiller
That Dreaded Feeling of Impending Pain
Ah, pain. It’s like a surprise party you didn’t ask for — except instead of cake, you get a pulled muscle and a side of regret.
So there I was, in my Aikido martial arts class, feeling all Bruce Lee — or maybe more like Mr. Bean — when I made a move that required me to charge toward my partner. Suddenly — BAM! — my calf muscle gave out. Felt like someone had pitched a fastball straight into my leg. I stood there, clutching my calf, thinking, "Oh bugger… looks like I’m benched for months.”
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? That moment when you know you’ve done yourself in. But here’s the twist — I didn’t panic. Because life, bless its heart, has taught me that injuries are inevitable. But recovery? Now, that’s where the magic happens.
What the Professionals Say About Fixing That Injury
You know what the experts say — as you get older, your recovery slows down. Well, I’d like to have a word with those experts — preferably while holding a rubber mallet. Just because I’m no spring chicken doesn’t mean my body forgot how to heal. My heart’s still beating, my brain’s still working (most days), and my immune system is still doing its thing. So why should healing slow down just because there are a few more candles on the birthday cake?
Honestly, if healing slowed down with age, Keith Richards would have turned to dust years ago.
I'm My Healer — No Painkillers Required
My injuries from Aikido are mostly muscular — acute, not chronic. Lucky me. But even if they were chronic, I’d still approach it the same way. Why? Because I know how to work with my body — and, spoiler alert, it doesn’t involve popping pills like they’re Tic Tacs.
The Steps (No White Coat Necessary)
Let me walk you through my recovery process — literally.
- Thursday night: Injury strikes.
- Sunday: Back on my feet and in the dojo. How, you ask? Well, gather round…
Immediate Response: Within one minute of the injury, I sat down, hands on the injury. I’m a Reiki channel, which helps — but honestly, just putting your hands on the injury starts the process. Plus, it gives you something to do besides swearing.
Movement: Half an hour later, I was up and (sort of) walking. Helped a couple of training mates while limping dramatically — because if you’re going to suffer, you might as well make it entertaining.
Reiki Again: When I got home, I laid hands on the injury. If Reiki’s not your thing, just think of it as giving your leg a pep talk.
Chinese Oil: Massaged in some special Chinese oil. It smells like something between eucalyptus and a crime scene, but it works wonders. (If you want the name, send me a message — you can find it cheap at any Asian grocery store.)
The Crew: Here’s where it gets interesting. I called in my imaginary repair crew. Picture thousands of tiny workers with hard hats, jackhammers, and paintbrushes, fixing my calf from the inside out. Sound ridiculous? Sure. But so does paying $400 for a five-minute consultation.
Follow-Up: Next day — more meditation, more Chinese oil, more exercise. And voilà — back to Bruce Lee status. (Okay, maybe more like Jackie Chan in a blooper reel.)
The Special Step: The Repair Crew
Ah, the repair crew — my secret weapon. These guys work hard. They’re out there in my calf with hammers and paint, swapping out broken cells for shiny new ones. If there’s a union, I hope they’re getting paid overtime.
If you think it’s all in my head — well, you’re probably right. But who cares? It works.
The Procedure With No Painkillers
No painkillers. No complaining. Just trusting the process and knowing my body’s got this.
I’ve laid out my six steps — tweak them if you like, or skip a step. But whatever you do, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too old to heal quickly. Your body listens to what you tell it — so tell it to get back in the game.
Your Mind is Powerful
Your mind is like a personal trainer — except without the yelling. Use it. Visualise healing. Talk to your body like it’s your best mate.
And one last thing — when you feel better (and you will), don’t forget to be grateful. Gratitude speeds up recovery faster than any pill.
Now, go out there and heal like a pro. And if anyone asks how you bounced back so fast, just tell them you’ve got an elite crew working round the clock.
Have an outstanding day — and don’t forget to tip the repair crew.
Ta da....
Psychic Andrew Warnes, Brisbane
PS. The Mayo Clinic has more on this.