Is there a Place for Anger?
A few days ago, I conversed with a client, and she asked me if I ever got angry. I replied, “Of course, I have, and still do occasionally.” Then I backed that statement up with, “But big anger? Not in a long, long time”.
Place of Anger Starts with You
My reason is I have no reason to get angry; I have a spectacular life, and anything that is thrown at me, I deal with it straight away. When something happens, I take on the chest; I own it. I allow a process to start by quickly analysing the challenge; then, I ask myself if it’s significant. If the challenge is not substantial, I let it go. I have my 10-second rule. It goes like this. If something upsets me, I’m allowed to be angry for 10 seconds. During that time, I worked on reframing what caused the anger. Then. After my allotted 10 seconds, I’ve moved on.
I know that if I hang onto my anger, it will eat away at me. I want to grow and find things that sustain me; I don’t want something in my life that draw me down into the unknown.
This looks easy. But it takes a lot of work. It was only sometimes like this for me. I’ve always been an enthusiastic and optimistic person, but there were times when I got angry.
Is There a Place for Anger
Let’s go back to my client because she asked me something else.
“Would I ever get angry again if someone baited me?”.
I am still trying to figure out the answer to this. It depends on the circumstances. There is a place for anger; it’s a strong emotion given to us for a reason. Anger comes from our more profound array of fight and flight syndrome emotions. Imagine being placed in a predicament where you’re cornered, and there is no way out. You need to fight to protect yourself or your loved ones. What would you do? You have three responses. Firstly, you could freeze. Secondly, you run, or thirdly you fight. To fight, you need physical things to happen to your body, and anger will facilitate those physical attributes allowing you to respond very quickly.
What we’re referring to is a life-and-death situation. This is when you’re terrified; luckily, this happens only once or twice in a lifetime.
You’re reading ‘Anger Management: Is There a Place for Anger: Why is anger bad.’
Why is Anger Bad?
Once or twice in a lifetime? That’s all an average person needs to expect from an anger-causing situation.
So why do we hear and see so much anger requiring anger management?
There is so much anger around because most people don’t know how to strive for happiness. There is little place for anger in a life of love and true happiness. When you are genuinely happy, positive emotions are your true being. Only when you allow dissatisfaction and anger into you can your defences be penetrated. When you’re unhappy and fulfilled, you allow heavy drama-filled emotions to enter your psyche. Anger is the doozy of these emotions.
What troubles me about the anger I hear and see is the speed it’s generated. When I examine the reasons for that outburst, they are trivial and minor.
Anger Management: What to Do
Learn to check in with yourself. Ask yourself if you are happy and what you love now, especially if someone presses your emotional buttons. Don’t deny your feelings, be truthful and give yourself a straight, honest answer.
Okay, that didn’t work. What’s next?
Go to a quiet place and ask, “How Would Love Respond?”. Then, you can go a step further. Ask yourself, “How would love respond to what I’m feeling?”. Things are going well; you’ve got this far, and well done!
There’s still a residual anger management issue there. I get that. Now is the time for you to pretend. It would be best if you faked an empowering feeling until you make it by pretending everything is okay and okay. You do this to fool your psychic. Your subconscious works on the signals your brain sends, and by faking a purposeful feeling and being optimistic, you’ll soon be out of your anger fog.
When that flash of anger rears up, ask yourself, “How would you love to respond?”. Next, you should do your fake feeling exercise, then your away. I guarantee you will be on top of everything in 10 seconds too.
I hope you have the best outstanding day.