Ask These Three Questions: Down the Emotional Dumps: Bad mood, Frustration, Anger.
by Psychic Andrew Warnes
Ask These Three Questions, sometimes called ‘perturbation questions,’ will enable you to function, especially if you’re down in the emotional dumps.
1. What ever happened to make me feel this way? What’s great about it?
2. So, when would NOW be a good time for me to move out of the way I’m feeling?
3. And what would be the first thing I could do to help myself with that?
Use these to get yourself out of the blues, a lousy mood, frustration, or anger.
All you need do is be conscious of your space, mood, tears, and frustration.
The Real Story: Bad Mood, Frustration, Anger
I gave you Ask These Questions To Dig Into Yourself in our “How to get yourself out of a bad mood” blog a month or so ago. You took a cursory glance and moved on; I know you did because that’s what everyone does.
Little do you realise these three questions can allow you to operate when you’re emotionally in the scrap heap.
Years ago, a friend in NSW had an elderly friend who suddenly died. He was her trainer and mentor in the Civic Theatre, where they both worked. She couldn’t cope because of her grief because she was distraught—she had no sleep, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t operate or function. But as they say in show business, ‘The Show Must Go On’. All it took was a 20-minute phone call. This woman needed to operate, to do her stuff, and she needed to do it over the top of her grief. She used the Ask These Three Questions: Down the Emotional Dumps questions, and it worked; she couldn’t believe it. So her show went on, and she grew; years later, she still uses the questions.
The Questions Explained
- Whatever happened to make me feel this way? What’s great about it?
You’re in such a state you don’t even want to contemplate asking this of yourself because there’s nothing extraordinary. I’m here to correct you; you’re wrong—you’re deceiving yourself because you’re in your drama glue. I can hear you now, “No one has ever been where I am now; I’m in real pain!”. But, of course, you are, and you’re getting a payoff for it. You’re getting sympathy, and you love telling that story to others and yourself.
So, what’s great about it?
What about your life? Your family, your fantastic health, last night’s sleep, that dream, your breakfast, that cool glass of water, the sound of that baby’s laughter, even the sex and cuddle last night? Everyone has great things every day, including you. Yet, you are so stuck in your negativity that you don’t like admitting that there are good and beautiful things in your life.
- So when would NOW be a good time for me to move out of the way I’m feeling?
This is question number 2. What does NOW mean? It means you are reading this now, in the now. It can only be now; it can’t be the past or future. So, you have a choice if you’re honest with yourself.
You can stay in that down, emotional, drama-glue feeling for as long as you like. Or you can use question 1 to reframe your thinking and this question to give you a period or a choice of when to make your change. It’s not how; it’s when.
A young woman came to me a few days ago. Her boyfriend/partner of 14 months sent her a text saying, “It’s off”. 3-days later, she’s still crying, and 5-days later, she comes to see me. After an hour, the tears almost dried up (after using the best part of a box of tissues). I say almost because she wants him to suffer; she wants retribution—because he did her wrong. That’s something she’ll never get. She will move on, though……
The young woman needed to operate daily; when we worked through the questions, she found she could. Her grieving will continue, but when she ‘got it’, she finds life is okay, and it took 30 seconds.
Your problem: Down the Emotional Dumps
Will you still be cursing, crying, or angry in 2 hours, 2-days or two months? Maybe, it’s your choice, or is it just 10 seconds?
The Action Plan for Ask These Three Questions: Bad mood, Frustration, Anger
- And what would be the first thing I could do to help myself with that?
We started with a reframing question; next was our timing question, and now we need something to move us out and away from the anger, frustration or grief. So I’m asking you to think of one thing you could do to help move you.
Years ago, my daughter was having challenges with her ex, and we went through this procedure, and she got it. So I asked her what would be the first thing she could do to help herself with that. Her answer was, “Dad, I’m going to sit here in the sunshine and read my book”. God, I love that girl. That was about eight years ago–she still remembers that occasion, and she still remembers “Ask These Three Questions” when she’s down the emotional dumps.
The First Thing
The first thing is the simple thing. Go for a walk, call up a friend, hop onto social media, go to a movie, book a holiday, look for a new job, or read a book. It’s so simple. A quick word of warning. It could take more than one ‘first thing’ to move you. You might need to stack them up.