Fantastic Relationship : 3 Easy Things to Make Your Relationship Fantastic
By
Psychic Andrew Warnes
The 3 Easy Things to Make your Relationship Fantastic
I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t in a relationship. We all are, it’s a part of us to be social, whether it’s a relationship with a sibling or parent, a friend or colleague or, that relationship that we find the toughest, your significant other. I said relationship, I didn’t say fantastic relationship.
Today we’re talking about a relationship with your significant other. Relationships need consistent work—you change, so does your partner; you press each other buttons, you disagree, you have conflicting values and rules and you and your partner lie on different parts of the masculine/feminine spectrum. No wonder we have challenges!
I’m going to offer you three things to light up your relationship, I’d like to call it winter warmth. They’re things you need to know and acknowledge.
You’re both responsible for your fantastic relationship.
It’s not just ‘all about him’ or ‘she never listens’—get rid of those statements, they’re not helpful. You need to have a conversation and acknowledge that it’s not one sided, both of you must put work into the relationship. The key to how to make the dialogue equal is below.
Your relationship is a choice, not a decision.
If you don’t choose your partner 100%, the back door to leaving is always slightly ajar. Any slight thing can be blown out of proportion to become big giving you the excuse you need to leave. We’re very good at this because we love to keep our options open just in case something better turns up on out doorstep. If you want to know more about the difference between a choice and a decision, call me and we’ll have a conversation about it. In a nutshell, a decision comes from your logical brain. It’s reinforced by historical events and always has conditions attached. On the other hand, when you choose, that’s all you do. “I choose to be with Tracey because I chose to be with Tracey!”. Nothing more, and, of course, you begin to understand your choice comes from your heart.
Changes to your fantastic relationship come in small incremental steps.
Let’s look at an example—your partner drinks alcohol (or smokes, does cannabis etc). It would be a huge leap for your partner to cease this habit, wouldn’t it? Even if he/she does, it would be short lived because habits like these are deep rooted within us. However, say your partner found some very small thing to change. Something that’s really easy and do-able, like giving up that can of Coca Cola he/she drinks every couple of days, That becomes a different proposition. The thing you need to be aware of is, it’s not the thing that he/she does per se that’s the problem, it’s that fact that you worry about it.
I have a friend who’s girlfriend left him because he drank too much alcohol. She never realised that yes, he drank but he never queried her smoking cigarettes all day at all. Go figure….
So there you have it. Three things to think about and understand. Read about love in this blog here.
Huffpost have an article to help you here.
And there’s more……
Step 3 above is an action step—take a small step. How?
It’s easy. The first step may be to hop in your car and head to your local stationery store and buy a pad of butcher’s paper and a couple of felt pens.
Next step. Use the butcher’s paper to outline what you want—use small words, no long explanations.
Next step. Invite your partner to see what you’ve come up with.
Next step. Invite your partner to use your butcher’s paper to outline what he/she wants.
One last thing. As you write what you want, think about your choices, the fact that you choose him or her.
See, I told you it’s easy.
Want to move on and read more? Check out the ‘Win Him Back’ post here.
Be awesome,
Psychic Andrew
