Empathy, the good, not so good? Most of us have empathy in some form to others; It’s how you ‘feel’ about a person and how you ‘feel’ towards them emotionally. Also, it’s in our every day communication, especially amongst women, when we hear them say “I know how you feel, I feel it too”. So it’s even an important part of our communication with others because it brings us closer to that other person. No denying that…..
Empathy is not necessarily an ‘all good’ thing though, it can get us into trouble……
When you hear someone say “I know how your feeling, I’m feeling it for you”, that’s a wonderful thing but the big thing is, “feeling for another” is not necessarily good for you or for that other person. If you absorb and take on that other person’s emotional garbage, after a while it’ll begin the harm you. When you take that person’s ‘stuff’ you may thing that you’re helping them—you’re not. Yes, you’re listening and understanding but it’s their stuff, not yours. So taking it on will not help them.
The empath normally feel emotions in the stomach and it’s usually in the form of uneasiness or pain. Rarely do we feel the wonderful tingles of goodwill in the stomach.
Here’s something on self-esteem you might find interesting too.
What do you do?
There’s something going on with a friend, a colleague or a family member. What happens? There’s that ‘feeling’, that pain………
Fix it! Do something. Don’t ask why you’re feeling it—the ‘why’ is irrelevant, it’s doubtful you’ll ever find what screwy buttons have been pushed. what you do know is who brought it on because you’ve just been talking about it. You also know, and rarely admit to yourself, what the issue is.
Take the lead and fix it for you by discussing what you’re feeling with the other person. Tell them that you’re feeing stuff, that it’s not yours and that you’re not going to hang onto it. That’s all, it’s as simple as that.
There’s more to this and we’ll discuss it in another blog.
We have a video from our 21 Day video course you may be interested in. Click here.
Work on this simple stuff, now.