Is there a Place for Anger?
I was in a conversation with a client a few days ago and she was asking me if I ever got angry. I replied, “Of course I have, and still do occasionally.” Then I backed that statement up with “But big anger? Not in a long, long time”.
Place of Anger Starts with You
My reason is, I have no reason to get angry, I have a spectacular life and anything that is thrown at me I deal with straight away. When something happens I take on the chest, I own it. I allow a process to start by quickly analysing the challenge, then I ask myself if it’s significant. If the challenge is not significant, I let it go. I have my 10 second rule. It goes like this. If something upsets me I’m allowed to be angry for 10 seconds during that time I work on reframing what caused the anger. Then. after my allotted 10 seconds I’ve moved on.
This looks easy doesn’t it? In actual fact, it’s not that easy. It wasn’t always like this for me. I’ve always been an enthusiastic and optimistic person, but there were times when I got angy.
Is There a Place for Anger
Let’s go back to me client because she asked me something else.
“Would I ever get angry again if someone really baited me?”.
I don’t know the answer to this it depends on circumstances. There is a place for anger, it’s an important emotion that has been given to us for a reason. Anger comes from our deeper array of fight and flight syndrome emotions. Imagine if you are placed in a predicament where you’re cornered and there was no way out. You really need to fight to protect yourself or your loved ones. What would you do? You have three responses. Firstly, you could freeze. Secondly you run or thirdly you fight. To fight you need physical things to happen to your body and anger will facilitate those physical attributes allowing to respond very quickly.
What we’re referring to is a life and death situation. This is when you’re scared, very scared and luckily this happens only once or twice in a life time.
You’re reading ‘Anger Management : Is there a Place for Anger : Why is anger bad’
Why is Anger Bad?
Once ot twice in a life time? That’s all a normal person needs to expect from an anger causing situation.
So why do we hear and see so much anger requiring anger management around?
The reason there is so much anger around is because most people don’t know how to stive for happiness. There is not much of a place for anger in a life of love and true happiness. When you are genuinely happy, positive emotions are our true being. It’s only when you allow dissatisfaction and anger into you that allows your defences to be penetrated. When you’re not happy and fulfilled, you allow heavy drama filled emotions to enter your psyche. Anger is the doozy of these emotions.
What troubles me about the anger I hear and see is the speed it’s generated. When I examine reasons for that outburst they are trivial and minor.
Anger Management : What to Do
Learn to check in with your self. Ask yourself if you are happy and what you love at the moment, especially if someone presses your emotional buttons. Don’t deny your feelings, be truthful and give yourself a straight truthful answer.
Okay, that didn’t work. What’s next?
Go to a quiet place and ask, “How Would Love Respond?”. Actually, you can go a step further. Ask yourself, “How would loved respond to what I’m feeling?”. Things are going well, you’ve got this far. Well done!
There’s still a residual anger management issue there. I get that. Now is the time for you to pretend. You need to fake an empowering feeling until you make it by pretending everything is fine and okay. You do this to fool your psychic. Your subconscious works on the signals your brain sends it and by faking a purposeful feeling and being optimistic, you’ll soon be out of your anger fog.
When that flash of anger rears up ask yourself “How would love respond?”. Next do your fake feeling exercise, then your away. I guarantee you too will be on top of everything in 10 seconds too.
Have the best outstanding day.
Check out this video Escape from Wester Living into your Living