Over the last couple of weeks I’ve eluded to some troubles I’ve had with my car. It’s been very interesting and is worth talking about because of the way I handled it and I’ve had surprising feedback from friends and the people involved with fixing it.

As I was driving back to Canberra from Brisbane, I stopped for a comfort stop north of Grafton. When I got back into the car it was sluggish to start, I didn’t worry too much and continued my journey. I stopped again in Coffs Harbour where, once again, it was slow to start. It seemed like battery problem, so across the road to a battery shop, where I had my battery replaced. Cool, I’m on the road again, free as the wind.

The following day on the outskirts of Sydney, I noticed the battery light on the dashboard flash on a couple of times. All was okay until I got to a service station on the freeway not far from Mittagong. Real challenge now because the car wouldn’t start at all, so I called the NRMA (motor club).

I didn’t stress too much, after all there wasn’t much I could do except wait and it was here that I decided to monitor my decision making skills and my stress levels. And I’m pleased that I did because a sequence of events started the repair process involving the NRMA, a tow truck company, an auto electrician, a motel, car hire company, the local General Motors distributor and repairer, a Canberra tow company and my local repaired here in Canberra.

I didn’t get to see my car running again for 9 days and the episode cost me over $2,000.

Okay, you might say, cars are expensive and crap happens.

True, but what’s important is how we react to events like this in our lives because I think it’s one of the best things to happen to me this year.

You see, I met some really fantastic people, although there is one in particular who I will not choose to do business with again, but all the others were awesome professionals. Moreover, I learnt some interesting things about the electrical systems in modern cars.

You see, everyone I dealt with were highly professional and I treated them with the utmost of respect and friendliness. One even became a client.

 So what did I do?

I realized I had a major car problem and that it was totally out of my control. I had to rely on others and I had to ask for help.

 That was my first decision.

My second decision was to be the person I always am. That is, enthusiastic and optimistic, happy and with joy in my life. You see, Yes, I had a problem with my car but I choose to still have an amazing life. It was a set back that I had to deal with.

My third decision?

I learnt something amazing about myself.

Let me explain. I’ve always thought of my self as a good organiser, good at logistics, to be on the ball with what’s going on with people and events. Well, not any more, now days I really have to work at it and the events of the last couple of weeks brought this home to me in no uncertain terms.

Now, stay with me on this, I know this is a longer bulletin but it’s important.

Years ago as a manager, I was great at logistics, I’d be able to keep track of numerous people in the field, finances, and other resources all at once. I could easily keep up with the science, technology and changes in my work and in the earth sciences industry.

I can’t do that now, I’ve changed, I really struggle with logistical challenges. Do I worry about this? No. I don’t try to get this skill back, I adapt and I evolve.

And what I do most of all is monitor myself by identifying what’s happening to me emotionally, mentally and physically. I investigate the key elements to what’s happening to me and then use those elements to inspire myself to evolve to be the person I want to be.

Look, this stuff is actually easy. Unfortunately, most of us don’t bother, we don’t work on it, and we don’t work on ourselves. And when we don’t work on ourselves, it’s even easier to slip into a negative, drama filled space and give up and go and retire!

 Action Plan!

We all have things happen to us in our lives. From the relatively minor stuff I’ve just talked about through to chronic illnesses, separations and even death. It’s up to us how we deal with those things. If you’re going through a challenging time do the following:

1. Ask for help, you don’t have to suffer alone.

2. Monitor yourself. If you’ve got a pain in the stomach or your chest is heavy, go into the feeling, don’t ignore it; and,

3. Be yourself, don’t put on an act, be the person you need to be.

I know this has been a longer bullitin. Thanks for staying with me.

Have the best outstanding day,

Andrew

Interested in finding out more?

It’s easy to contact me….

Andrew Warnes

Intuitive Success Coaching

Intuitive Life Readings

www.andrewwarnes.com

Mobile/Cell: +61(0)414 544 543

Do you engage people when you talk to them? When you’re having a coffee with a friend, is your friend the type who looks around at all the other people coming and going and does not look at you?
We’ve all been in this situation and it’s annoying isn’t it, maybe you’ve found yourself doing it. If you have done it perhaps it was because you didn’t really want to be there or maybe it was the conversation itself. It just didn’t grab you and keep you enthralled.
I remember years ago when my partner, at the time, and I were visiting by brother and we were in a hotel having a meal. My brother was looking around at others so much that he couldn’t hold onto the conversation he was dominating. It was not an enjoyable experience.
The challenge when we engage people is that we are afraid of staring at them too much and driving them away for us. There is, however, a big difference between engaging someone and staring and we do need to learn what is appropriate for a particular situation.
I remember a lovely story BNI owner and CEO Ivan Misner tells about when his teenage son accompanied him to a conference where Richard Branson was a speaker. Richard engaged Ivan’s son in a conversation for about 15 minutes and he focussed his attention onto Ivan’s son the whole time. Never once did his eyes waiver to anyone else in the crowded auditorium. Richard Branson had clearly worked on himself in this respect.
Now, when you actively engage someone, that is to practice engaging, it’s challenging. You’ll feel self conscious and at times you’ll feel as though you’re loosing the gist of the conversation, don’t worry about this, it okay. Just concentrate on looking the person in the eye, use nodding gestures, the normal mm’s and um’s, and smiles; don’t forget to smile.
You’ll get used to it.
Lastly, when you engage someone you’ll wonder what eye to look into. This will come naturally to you after a while and it depends on who you’re talking to and what your talking about. As a general rule-of-thumb if you’re talking to a woman you’ll tend to look into her left eye and a male into his right. But that is a very general rule and really depends on what or who you’re talking about. Certainly, in my coaching, I spend a lot of time looking into my client’s left eye because we’re talking about very personal things in their lives and this, for me, is a way to engage them.
What is your call to action?
Engage people when you meet them. Make them think they are the only person in the world who exists, especially if you’re both standing or it’s a one-to-one meeting such as a cup of coffee or meal. Look them in the eye when you talk to them.
And they will love you for it. They will also remember you over other people.
PS A final little trick. If you’re having a coffee or a meal with someone and you’re feeling you’re being distracted and find it hard to engage, ask to move to another table or change seats. Admit to your guest that you’re being distracted and you would like to move. This may well be the wow factor your friend or client is looking for in you. Imagine if someone did that to you, you’d feel pretty special wouldn’t you.
Have the best outstanding day.

Andrew

Interested in finding out more?
It’s easy to contact me……..
Andrew WarnesIntuitive Success CoachingIntuitive Life Readings
Mobile/Cell: +61(0)414 544 543
Email: andrew@andrewwarnes.comhttp://www.andrewwarnes.comFacebook: http://facebook.com/IntuitiveRelationshipReadings
SEEING YOUR FUTURE AND MAKING IT HAPPEN, NOW

Your Call to action.

I was in a conversation with a client a few days ago and she was asking me if I ever got angry. I told her, “Of course, I have, but not in a long while”. The reason I said this was I have no reason to get angry, I have a spectacular life and anything that is thrown at me, I take on the chest, analyse it, ask myself if it’s significant and if’ it’s not, I let it go. I have a rule, and that is, I’m allowed to be angry for 10 seconds and after that time is up, my anger is gone. I will not hang onto it because I know if I do it will take me down to a level that will not sustain me. 

Easy? Well, not really. it wasn’t always like this. I’ve always been an enthusiastic and optimistic person and naturally, there were times when I got angy.

The next thing the client asked me was “Would I ever get angry again if someone really baited me?”. I don’t know the answer to this, it depends on circumstances. You see, there is a place for anger, it’s an emotion that has been given to us for a reason. It’s a part of our array of fight and flight syndrome emotions. If we’re placed in a predicament or situation where we’re cornered and really need to fight to protect ourselves or our loved ones, believe me, anger will emerge and it will emerge very quickly. What I’m taking about is a life and death situation, where there may well be only one extreme outcome and one that happens maybe only once or twice in a life time.

Once ot twice in a life time? So why do we hear and see so much anger around? Because most of us don’t know how to stive for happiness. You see, there is not much of a place for anger in true happiness. When we’re genuinely happy, no other negative emotions allow themselves to penetrate our defences. When we’re not happy and fulfilled, we allow the heavy drama filled emotions to enter our psyche, anger being one of these emotions.

What troubles me about the anger we hear and see is how quickly it can be generated and for reasons that to me, seem minor.

What do you do if you get angry?

Check in with your self, ask yourself if you are happy when you’re feeling this way. Be truthful to yourself and give yourself a straight truthful answer.
Next, if you find it hard to move away from the anger ask what my great friend and coach Kurek Ashley consistently asked in his best selling book “How Would Love Respond?”. Actually ask yourself “How would loved respond to what I’m feeling?” and then if you feel you need to fake an empowering feeling until you make it. Pretend everything is fine and okay until it is.

You see our subconscious only works on the signals our brain sends it and by faking feeling great and optimistic will soon move you out of the way you’re feeling.

So What is your call to action?

When that negative thought or touch of anger enters into your consciousness, ask yourself “How would love respond?” and fake feeling amazing and happy until you are. I guarantee you too will be feeling fantastic in 10 seconds as well.

Have the best outstanding day.

Andrew

Are you accountable for what you say?

A few weeks ago I crewed for my fantastic coach, Kurek Ashley at his Sydney Life to The Max workshop. As a crew member we get to participate as well and, as with many things we hear in our daily lives, often we don’t get the message the first time round.—well, in my case it may be the 5th time round. Kurek was talking about goal setting. Specifically, for goals to really hit home and be burnt into our psyche we need to say them out-loud, together with other self help messages on a daily basis. Now I have been reading my goals, ‘I ams..’, my creed etc for a couple of years and I stood up and asked Kurek “When you read out your goals etc, how do you get past the self consciousness of actually reading them out?”.

Now, Kurek jumped straight onto me probably because he expected more from me, after all he is my personal coach. You see, I worded my question in a disempowering way. I said “When you….” instead of “When I…..”.

Is there much of a difference? Well yes there is, you see, I didn’t own my question.

How many times a day do we smooth over a request by being ambiguous in the way we ask a question?

You see, we ask questions in a soft way because we don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings. The truth is we do hurt feelings and we hurt them more because we’re being indecisive.

For example, when you’re home and you ask your spouse what he/she wants for dinner and your spouse answers fish, what do you do? Tell your spouse you want Thai food? So why did you ask in the first place? Wouldn’t it be more decisive to say “I want to cook Thai tonight, how is that with you?”

Indecision is one of the curses of our society. And, I must admit, I’ve been one of the worst protagonists, till now. Indecision is what stopped me going for what I wanted because I used to say “Anything for a quiet life”, because I didn’t want to hurt other people’s feelings, especially those close to me. Little did I realise that by being indecisive I was confusing issues and making them more complex than they needed to be.

What do I do now?

If someone asks me something and I don’t want to do it I say “No”. I don’t give a reason because I don’t need to, the reason is none of their business. And if someone says “No” to me it’s not up to me to ask “Why”, because it’s none of my business.

Very simple, and to the point.

Want a call to action? Here it is.

When someone asks if you want to do something, tell them straight, don’t beat around the bush. Own your answer.

Until next time,

Have the best outstanding day.

Feeling Like a Hanging Squirrel

I thought I must send the following onto you because it illustrates so well what I’ve been taking about over the last few weeks. This is about a client who works in the Middle East and has had some really troublesome things happen over the last year or so. But she has hung in there, listened to me and her own wisdom and it’s all come through for her.

Read on. I think you’ll find her responses enlightening, and remember she’s no differnet from the rest of us, she has the same hopes, fears and desires as we all do, they just manifest themselves slightly differently, that’s all.
As you read the messages, take note of the dates and times between them.
When we pu

t what we want out there, the changes can be dramatic!

15 June 2011 4:33:02 PM AEST

Andrew Andrew! when I saw this I thought ‘how does he know!!!’ hhaha.

I have had such drama, lost my job, trying so so hard to get another one, going to every interview, trying my hardest. S….. having a nightmare also, nearly had a nervous breakdown. We are in touch but haven’t seen him in ages. Am hoping to go home soon (ed: to UK) for a break and see him then. It is odd when bad things happen to me, they happen to him and when I feel low I find out he is the same. Get this, once I nearly sent him a text about how I was feeling like a hanging squirrel! Then I didn’t send it as I thought he would think I was mad, only to open an email from him saying he was feeling like going off to be a hanging squirrel! I couldn’t believe my eyes. All in all a very stressful time but trying to get through it with as much positive thinking as I can muster, in between the odd crying fit of being homesick and very worried.

Really hope things are much much better with you!  I CANNOT believe you have been in Canberra 6 months. Hope the move is going great guns!

You take care, All the best, S…….

17 June 2011 8:56:37 PM AEST

Hi Andrew, Thanks for your respone, good advice as always. Have you every thought of contacting The discovery channel? They often have really good programs about unusual stuff and I reckon what you are doing would be a nice feature for them? I really really do. I emailed you about this a while ago but I am not sure you ever got the email.

BTW I got an amazing new job, my DREAM job, yesterday – 3 hours after I went to the interview. They loved me and have offered for me to start immediately. I told S…… it is his turn next, good things will happen for him too. And I am seeing him next week in UK I am SO SO excited. Can’t wait to give him a hug and a kiss – and the rest!!! He is such a sweetheart.

Take care

20 June 2011 5:49:19 PM AEST

Hi Andrew,  You’ll never guess what re jobs, I just got a counter offer – so now it is I who have to decide on which job I want!!!! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!! Take care.

If you’re connected you’ll get your messages exactly when you need them.

The feedback from my last report to you has been amazing and I thank you all for your responses. You are great and your insights are inspiring.

One response from a subscriber named Andrew (he must be a he’ll of a guy with a name like that) really got me thinking and I’d like to share my thoughts with you.

Andrew told me how my weekly newsletters come to him at a very synchronistic time and the topics, for him, are really valuable, especially the timing of the topic for what he has going on in his life. He says it’s as though I have been discussing with him his challenges that day and I’ve given him strategies for changes for those strategies. The only thing is, Andrew hasn’t talked to me. I kind of know him but not that well.

So what’s this about? Is this happening only to Andrew?

No it’s not. It’s happening to all of us all the time, if only we spend the time and listen. You see, when we’re tuned in and living in the now, we’re connected to a little thing called the Universe (or God, Buddha, the Creator, Jesus, or whatever you call your higher being if you have one). When we are connected like this it means we are connected to everything around us as well. That connection could mean getting goose bumps when a baby laughs, feeling all warm and cosy when you’re ‘close’ to your partner, or feeling over come when you look at the sun rising. Or it may mean having tears forming when you hear a beautiful and heartwarming story, or getting all chocked up when you see one of those ‘feel good’ videos on the Internet. Are you starting to understand the emotional feelings I’m talking about?

What this means is, and it can be a hard concept to grasp, that when we are connected to the universe and allowing ourselves to ‘be’ in that special space of ‘in the now’ we connect to everyone and everything around us. It’s as if everyone we know, is working for us and we are working for them. This means that there is no judgement, no paybacks and no debt. Any debt or value is not regarded as that, it is stored somewhere in the Universe as karma and is completely unknown to us, and the more we keep connected and doing and working on ourselves and others in this way helps our karma.

Imagine that! A system that tracks our merit points automatically without the help (or hinderance) of accounting systems, taxation agencies, social security numbers or big brother. And it comes about by simply attaching ourselves to a belief that we are connected to each other.

Pretty immaculate, eh!

Until next time,

Have the best outstanding day.

What’s with all the stuff going on?

I’ve had a couple of emails and conversations with people over the last few weeks about all the stuff that’s going on at the moment. And by ‘stuff’ I mean earthquakes and global unrest right down to your ‘stuff’, the crap that you’re going through at the moment.

Well, my first comment is “Get used to it!”, it’s not going to go away.

Have you noticed how quickly we’ve sped through this year? I have, it only seemed like a few weeks ago I was telling people about my move to Canberra, and here I am, I’ve been here just on six months.

What I’d like you to do is think about it this way. What do you think would happen if you got all the emotional stuff that’s going on (i.e. political changes in the Middle East) and all the natural disasters and squeezed them into a tighter timeframe? There would be the perception that there is more happening wouldn’t there? Where 200 years ago we got a tidal wave every  20 years, now we’re getting one every 3 months type of thing.

Now add to this our own personal life and you get some interesting things begin to happen. What I’m seeing and hearing, when it comes down to this singular personal form, is that it manifests itself into our relationships, i.e. things are happening to people every day and the things are predominantly to do with our relationships. The relationships I’m talking about are with our loved ones, work colleagues, friends, our bosses, in fact, any one we have day to day dealings with.

And it’s here that things get tough because in our society we tend to externalise relationship challenges that come our way. What we really need to do is take a step back and look at ourselves and ask ourselves  “Was this of my doing?”, to which we may answer “Maybe.”

But what about the earthquakes in Japan and Christchurch? Was this your doing? No, of course not. All you need do with these global events is examine your life and where it fits into the event, nothing more. Slow down and take the time to think about yourself for a few minutes. When there is an earthquake, or flood, or wind etc, think about how it effects you. Does it effect you? The fact that you watch the broadcasts on TV, is that helping you cope? Do you really think you need to watch that sort of detail? I would say no. You don’t (It’s why I don’t watch TV or read newspapers, except to do Sudoku).

And the same goes for your relationships with partners, friends, colleagues, etc. Most of what they do is none of your business. All this emotional drama that you have in your life comes about because we meddle in other people’s business. So, be kind to yourself. If someone tells you something think about the consequences for you (not them) and be as positive and happy that these people are a part of your life and how lucky are you to have all these fantastic people in your life!

I often think about the modern world and it’s fantastic communication systems. They really are amazing, TV news almost as it happens, the internet, phone systems, incredible! These systems switch us straight through to what’s happening in the world, instantly. Then I think about global communications 50 or 100 years ago. If there was a tornado in the mid-west of the USA I wouldn’t hear about it for weeks or even months. Most of the damage would have been reparied before I even got to hear about it. There wouldn’t be much scope for personal involvement then would there.

Before I go, I would like to give you some significant dates that are coming up soon. We never know how these dates will manifest themselves until the actual event, (if there is an event).

If you’re not into this sort of stuff, tune out now.

• 17 August 2011 Very challenging time for all of us.
• 11 September 2011 Turbulent time
• 27 September 2011 Three days of darkness (not sure what that means)
• 3 October 2011 Dust and fallout
• 17 October 2011 Something or someone is too close
• 28 October 2011 Final day of the Mayan Calendar
• 5 November 2011 Fallout
• 11 November 2011 All those elevens, follow your instinct
• 23 November 2011 Eclipse lots of change.

These dates are for information only. Let’s face it, if something big happens there will be nothing we can do except say “I told you so…..”

Until next time

,

Have the best outstanding day.

Andrew

Are your habits changing for the better?

I don’t know about you but where ever I go I get the same messages, for me they’re coaching messages, and I love them.

The messages I’m referring to today are about habits and looking for tiny incremental changes in our lives and working on those changes to produce long lasting results.

Let me explain.

Yesterday I participated in a self defence workshop with a world renowned expert who taught us how to escape from a position when someone has you on the ground and their full weight is on top of you. If you haven’t been in this position believe me, it’s not nice. You have the full weight of your opponent on your chest, it’s suffocating, it’s painful and it’s claustrophobic. Normally people submit or panic in this situation, much the same as they do in life situations when emotional trauma hits.

Our instructor told us about the 5% benefit. If you can get a 5% benefit and turn this into an advantage this will give you the upper edge, you turn a near hopeless situation into a perfect outcome. Interestingly, yesterday’s 5% advantage was a body movement so small if you blinked you would miss it.

The point I’m making is that in life it’s not the big changes that make the difference, it’s the ones we hardly see.

How many people 25 kgs overweight try to lose that 25 kgs in one go? How many people with maxed out credit cards try to pay off the whole balance in one go? Just about every one? How long did it take to put on that extra 25 kgs in the first place and how long did it take to max out the credit card? A week? A month? The truth is it took months or even years, it was a slow process. It was a gradual habit. To win at this, we need to reverse or create a new habit.

Yesterday, I couldn’t get out of the hold the guy had on me without the 5% advantage. It was small and significant. Two years ago I lost 25 kgs by losing 500 grams first, then another 500 grams and so on. I didn’t actually use scales, I used my shirt, trousers and belts sizes and I went from an XXXL to L. It’s been a great feeling throwing my old clothes away.

You see, to be successful we need to concentrate on the small goals with the view of the grand goals in the back of our minds. For every cappuccino we forgo, that’s $4.00 we’ve saved and for every cream bun we leave in the bakery that’s a millimetre we’ve reduced our waistline.

And these can be turned into habits. Small habits! The smaller the better, because small habits are easier to maintain.

So, you’re going to ask, how do I give up the big harmful habits like smoking, over-eating, drugs, gambling, etc?

Stay tuned for next week’s tip on how easy it is to maintain a small habit. And I’ll give you some examples as well……

Have the best outstanding day,