Are you a Dad? Do you have a Dad? We all do don’t we!

Do you relate to Father’s Day? I know guys who do and I know a lot of fathers who don’t mainly because of it’s commerciality. It just one big buy, buy, buy phenomenon.

This was my outlook for years and years. I managed quite successfully (sometimes) to get the message through that a telephone call or a card will do. It’s amazing how one’s children forget things like this and only after 12 months. And there I would be, minding my own business, and a child daughter arrives with package in hand. My protestations never went far.

It’s not that I was a bah humbug type of person, it was more to do with the notion that for me it was no big deal. In those days though, I was different person than I am today. What I missed back then was that it was important to my daughters that they remembered me on that day.

So the real change happened to me a about 18 months ago, 6 months before Fathers Day.

I had one of those ah ha moments with respect to my daughters.

 Let me explain.

The ah ha moment happened after a conversation I had with each daughter. I decided that they were old enough to look after themselves and I told them so. I suggested that if they wanted advice from me they would have to ask for it, I was never going to give unsolicited advice again. Now that, in itself, is story for another time. What happened after these conversations was quite extraordinary—something new developed in my relationship with my daughters. There was a new respect, a deeper connection and a more developed love. It has been incredible.

 So what has this to do with Fathers Day?

I made a decision that Fathers Day was not only a celebration of my daughters’ relationship with me, it would also be a celebration of my gratitude for having two beautiful daughters who are such an important part of my life.

To put it simply, I would thank them for being so special to me.

How does one do this? Well, I had to think about that because I didn’t want it to become commercial. I wanted it special. Last year, I got to work and engraved two small perspex plates with a quote (from me) which I attached to a small timber block, wrapped them in paper with a card and presented it too them. It was a lovely occasion, one that I will remember for a long time, and I notice both my daughters still have their gifts.

This year, what am I doing? Artwork, especially for them. Yes, the masterpieces are done, took me a couple of days and I finished them a few days before father’s day.

 Call to Action.

No, you don’t to do what I have done. That’s just what I do. You need to do your thing.

Your call to action is to understand that what you give, you receive hundreds of times over. Every day, have gratitude for the small wonderful things in your life, like the sound of your child’s laughter, the look your son or daughter gives you when you communicate with him or her, and how he or she feels to you when you give them a hug.

Don’t have access to your children? Maybe you need to give me or someone a call, especially if you need a bit of help.

It’s pretty easy isn’t it!

 

What I do when I receive my gift from my daughters is give something in return that reminds them that they are so special to me.

And of course, the great stuff that happens to me as I’m preparing their gifts is work bottling, I love that feeling.

Have the best outstanding day.

Andrew

 

Today, I couldn’t help looking out at the people of the neighbourhood going about their business and life. You see I’m at my local neighbourhood shopping centre, the sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day.

As I looked out at the people coming and going I started to reflect on what I was trying to do. I was about to write something that was not quite there. Of course, I could force the words into the keyboard and that’s okay, it would still be a great piece, or I could reflect on where my mind is at the moment and allow myself to be in the ‘space’ I needed to be in.

The thing about this ‘space’ is that it’s a lovely place to be, and to write while in this space, is pure delight. The vision and words flow so easily. Now, I’m not one for saying that we always need to be in this ‘space’ when we need to write something. What I am saying is we can help ourselves lower our stress levels by just ‘being’ once or twice a day. Just ‘being’ involves walking or sitting in a mindfulness state. You may refer to it as ‘being in the now’ and it involves sitting quietly and not concentrating on anything in particular and everything at the same time. Hmm, now that’s an interesting concept, isn’t it?

Let me explain what I mean.

As you sit be aware of all your five senses at once, what scents are in the air, what sounds, the light, how your bottom feels on the seat you are sitting on, and even what the taste sensations in your mouth feel like. The feel of the temperature of the air, the breeze, the sound of the breeze, the movement of the air in the trees. Get the picture!

You only need to be in this ‘place’ for a few minutes to appreciate it. Then you can get back into your normal routine. The interesting thing is, when you allow yourself to be in this ‘place’ for a few minutes, away from the rat race of normal thoughts, you’ll be surprised a what you achieve just after it.

What did I achieve by allowing myself to move into this space? Well, for one thing, this newsletter. Secondly, I thought of a great thing to cover with a coaching client I’ll be seeing in a few minutes. And I don’t know where the inspiration for that came from.

Our mind is truly a wonderful thing. All we need do is let it have it’s way every now and then.

 Call to Action.

Grab a piece of paper and pen. Write down, “Stop, get in the NOW” and put the piece of paper in your pocket or handbag and try to remember to bring it out during the day.

Do what your note says to do. Sit quietly, eyes not focussed on anything in particular, listen to the sounds around you, feel your seat, how you’re sitting, where your feet are (flat on the floor?), can you recognise any scents in the air? Do this for just two minutes, or longer if you like.

There, did that feel good!

Congratulations, you’ve just been in the NOW.

 

And it was so easy.

 

Have the best outstanding day.

 

Andrew

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve eluded to some troubles I’ve had with my car. It’s been very interesting and is worth talking about because of the way I handled it and I’ve had surprising feedback from friends and the people involved with fixing it.

As I was driving back to Canberra from Brisbane, I stopped for a comfort stop north of Grafton. When I got back into the car it was sluggish to start, I didn’t worry too much and continued my journey. I stopped again in Coffs Harbour where, once again, it was slow to start. It seemed like battery problem, so across the road to a battery shop, where I had my battery replaced. Cool, I’m on the road again, free as the wind.

The following day on the outskirts of Sydney, I noticed the battery light on the dashboard flash on a couple of times. All was okay until I got to a service station on the freeway not far from Mittagong. Real challenge now because the car wouldn’t start at all, so I called the NRMA (motor club).

I didn’t stress too much, after all there wasn’t much I could do except wait and it was here that I decided to monitor my decision making skills and my stress levels. And I’m pleased that I did because a sequence of events started the repair process involving the NRMA, a tow truck company, an auto electrician, a motel, car hire company, the local General Motors distributor and repairer, a Canberra tow company and my local repaired here in Canberra.

I didn’t get to see my car running again for 9 days and the episode cost me over $2,000.

Okay, you might say, cars are expensive and crap happens.

True, but what’s important is how we react to events like this in our lives because I think it’s one of the best things to happen to me this year.

You see, I met some really fantastic people, although there is one in particular who I will not choose to do business with again, but all the others were awesome professionals. Moreover, I learnt some interesting things about the electrical systems in modern cars.

You see, everyone I dealt with were highly professional and I treated them with the utmost of respect and friendliness. One even became a client.

 So what did I do?

I realized I had a major car problem and that it was totally out of my control. I had to rely on others and I had to ask for help.

 That was my first decision.

My second decision was to be the person I always am. That is, enthusiastic and optimistic, happy and with joy in my life. You see, Yes, I had a problem with my car but I choose to still have an amazing life. It was a set back that I had to deal with.

My third decision?

I learnt something amazing about myself.

Let me explain. I’ve always thought of my self as a good organiser, good at logistics, to be on the ball with what’s going on with people and events. Well, not any more, now days I really have to work at it and the events of the last couple of weeks brought this home to me in no uncertain terms.

Now, stay with me on this, I know this is a longer bulletin but it’s important.

Years ago as a manager, I was great at logistics, I’d be able to keep track of numerous people in the field, finances, and other resources all at once. I could easily keep up with the science, technology and changes in my work and in the earth sciences industry.

I can’t do that now, I’ve changed, I really struggle with logistical challenges. Do I worry about this? No. I don’t try to get this skill back, I adapt and I evolve.

And what I do most of all is monitor myself by identifying what’s happening to me emotionally, mentally and physically. I investigate the key elements to what’s happening to me and then use those elements to inspire myself to evolve to be the person I want to be.

Look, this stuff is actually easy. Unfortunately, most of us don’t bother, we don’t work on it, and we don’t work on ourselves. And when we don’t work on ourselves, it’s even easier to slip into a negative, drama filled space and give up and go and retire!

 Action Plan!

We all have things happen to us in our lives. From the relatively minor stuff I’ve just talked about through to chronic illnesses, separations and even death. It’s up to us how we deal with those things. If you’re going through a challenging time do the following:

1. Ask for help, you don’t have to suffer alone.

2. Monitor yourself. If you’ve got a pain in the stomach or your chest is heavy, go into the feeling, don’t ignore it; and,

3. Be yourself, don’t put on an act, be the person you need to be.

I know this has been a longer bullitin. Thanks for staying with me.

 

Have the best outstanding day,

Andrew

Interested in finding out more?

It’s easy to contact me….

Andrew Warnes

Intuitive Success Coaching

Intuitive Life Readings

www.andrewwarnes.com

Mobile/Cell: +61(0)414 544 543

 

Your Call to action.

I was in a conversation with a client a few days ago and she was asking me if I ever got angry. I told her, “Of course, I have, but not in a long while”. The reason I said this was I have no reason to get angry, I have a spectacular life and anything that is thrown at me, I take on the chest, analyse it, ask myself if it’s significant and if’ it’s not, I let it go. I have a rule, and that is, I’m allowed to be angry for 10 seconds and after that time is up, my anger is gone. I will not hang onto it because I know if I do it will take me down to a level that will not sustain me. 

Easy? Well, not really. it wasn’t always like this. I’ve always been an enthusiastic and optimistic person and naturally, there were times when I got angy.

The next thing the client asked me was “Would I ever get angry again if someone really baited me?”. I don’t know the answer to this, it depends on circumstances. You see, there is a place for anger, it’s an emotion that has been given to us for a reason. It’s a part of our array of fight and flight syndrome emotions. If we’re placed in a predicament or situation where we’re cornered and really need to fight to protect ourselves or our loved ones, believe me, anger will emerge and it will emerge very quickly. What I’m taking about is a life and death situation, where there may well be only one extreme outcome and one that happens maybe only once or twice in a life time.

Once ot twice in a life time? So why do we hear and see so much anger around? Because most of us don’t know how to stive for happiness. You see, there is not much of a place for anger in true happiness. When we’re genuinely happy, no other negative emotions allow themselves to penetrate our defences. When we’re not happy and fulfilled, we allow the heavy drama filled emotions to enter our psyche, anger being one of these emotions.

What troubles me about the anger we hear and see is how quickly it can be generated and for reasons that to me, seem minor.

What do you do if you get angry?

Check in with your self, ask yourself if you are happy when you’re feeling this way. Be truthful to yourself and give yourself a straight truthful answer.
Next, if you find it hard to move away from the anger ask what my great friend and coach Kurek Ashley consistently asked in his best selling book “How Would Love Respond?”. Actually ask yourself “How would loved respond to what I’m feeling?” and then if you feel you need to fake an empowering feeling until you make it. Pretend everything is fine and okay until it is.

You see our subconscious only works on the signals our brain sends it and by faking feeling great and optimistic will soon move you out of the way you’re feeling.

So What is your call to action?

When that negative thought or touch of anger enters into your consciousness, ask yourself “How would love respond?” and fake feeling amazing and happy until you are. I guarantee you too will be feeling fantastic in 10 seconds as well.

Have the best outstanding day.

Andrew